Elegant Lady

My Grandma’s Stroke…

It was very daunting seeing my Grandmother in that state. She was always sharp as tack and “Elegant Lady”. She was raised in those taboo times. Jenny, Mom and sister were all in the room when Grandma started to rant about being a bad person, sleeping here and there. Not realizing she was remembering her life. She felt “dumb” and “ashamed”. My mother quickly reminded her she is and always was an Elegant Lady. This calmed her down enough to tell us some stories.

I remember this one not as a past event because it was nothing of the sort, but her state of mind today. She was complaining about her phone ringing and not being able to answer the thing. She apologized for any inconvenience this may have caused us. She was frustrated; she felt like no matter what she did the phone would stop before she answered. She felt far away from the phone like in the other room and just could not make it. This spoke volumes to my heart. This is what it must be like, trapped in your own mind. I hate not answering the phone. We are conditioned to answer the damn thing and when we miss it, dejection. What a terrible pain it must be seeing your life and not knowing it’s the past and for a single moment seeing your self only during clarity. Clarity would be the worse for me. Let me live in my dreams.